
The
Booger Promise
Declare your commitment to silliness, balderdash, malarkey, tom foolery, shenanigans, hijinks any one other form of benevolent chaos that may cross your path — or that you deliberately seek out.

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I, _____ , PROMISE…
I will not wipe boogers on my friend
I will not not wipe boogers on my friend
I will not not not wipe boogers on my friend
I promise to take a bath so I don’t smell like a foot
I promise I won’t not wipe boogers on my friend
I will snot wipe boogers on my friend
I am a booger face
I promise I won’t snot wipe boogers on my head
I promise I won’t be annoying
I promise I snot wiped boogers on my friend
Dad’s feet are ripe.
(note to reader: look under there)
(did you say underwear?)
I promise to laugh, smile, and be a silly kid.
To chuckle, wrinkle my nose. To tell the joke.
To prank my family. To put a spoon in the fork drawer.
To tell my teacher that they teach the wellest.
To don bubble beards and shampoo mohawks.
And peel glue off my hands.
I will “hhhello” the dog with my morning breath.
And make fart noises in the empty paper-towel tube.
I will leave sticky notes liberally that say “boogers on board.”
I will learn to pronounce liberally.
I will correct your grammar.
I will not pay my share of the tab
(even though I added a salad).
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