The
Booger Promise

I will not wipe boogers on my friend

I will not not wipe boogers on my friend

I will not not not wipe boogers on my friend

 

I promise to take a bath so I don’t smell like a foot

I promise I won’t not wipe boogers on my friend

I will snot wipe boogers on my friend

I am a booger face

I promise I won’t snot wipe boogers on my head

I promise I won’t be annoying

I promise I snot wiped boogers on my friend

Dad’s feet are ripe.

 

(note to reader: look under there)

​

(did you say underwear?)

 

I promise to laugh, smile, and be a silly kid.

To chuckle, wrinkle my nose. To tell the joke.

To prank my family. To put a spoon in the fork drawer.

To tell my teacher that they teach the wellest.

To don bubble beards and shampoo mohawks.

And peel glue off my hands.

I will “hhhello” the dog with my morning breath.

And make fart noises in the empty paper-towel tube.

I will leave sticky notes liberally that say “boogers on board.”

I will learn to pronounce liberally.
I will correct your grammar.

I will not pay my share of the tab
(even though I added a salad).