The
Booger Promise
Declare your commitment to silliness, balderdash, malarkey, tom foolery, shenanigans, hijinks any one other form of benevolent chaos that may cross your path — or that you deliberately seek out.
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I, _____ , PROMISE…
I will not wipe boogers on my friend
I will not not wipe boogers on my friend
I will not not not wipe boogers on my friend
I promise to take a bath so I don’t smell like a foot
I promise I won’t not wipe boogers on my friend
I will snot wipe boogers on my friend
I am a booger face
I promise I won’t snot wipe boogers on my head
I promise I won’t be annoying
I promise I snot wiped boogers on my friend
Dad’s feet are ripe.
(note to reader: look under there)
(did you say underwear?)
I promise to laugh, smile, and be a silly kid.
To chuckle, wrinkle my nose. To tell the joke.
To prank my family. To put a spoon in the fork drawer.
To tell my teacher that they teach the wellest.
To don bubble beards and shampoo mohawks.
And peel glue off my hands.
I will “hhhello” the dog with my morning breath.
And make fart noises in the empty paper-towel tube.
I will leave sticky notes liberally that say “boogers on board.”
I will learn to pronounce liberally.
I will correct your grammar.
I will not pay my share of the tab
(even though I added a salad).
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About The Great Booger Book Booger Promise
The Booger Promise is simple: we take funny kids’ books, gross-out humor, and art-school-level storytelling way too seriously. Born from The Great Booger Book, it’s our vow to make learning, laughter, and nose-based nonsense something kids actually remember (and proudly repeat at the dinner table).
This isn’t just another children’s picture book — it’s a declaration that kids’ creativity, read-aloud comedy, and smart silliness belong in the same breath (preferably through the nose). Every rhyme, drawing, and gooey detail exists to prove that imagination and humor are the stickiest forces on Earth.
It’s not just a promise. It’s a booger oath — signed, sealed, and slightly sneezed upon.
